Death Howler
Riley Danvers

Do you know  how

To live  through  the death of your own motherhood?

To watch blood stain skin

Of your thighs cover wood floor of your

bathroom spread across canvas

of the life you were building?

Do you know  how

To feel your body  empty itself of

feeling? Release last breaths

Of the mother you might have been?

For  12 weeks you were

becoming someone else’s everything and now your

everything is gone.

What has become of the

shape of you?

How will anything

Make sense again?  14 hours  motherhood mutates

shapeshifts into a howl

given up from your body given up to

moon the only god

listening tonight.

Crying isn’t enough. Screaming isn’t enough.

Silence is

too much.

So you howl

writhing in blood

of your motherhood as it

falls away.

Do you know how to thank the earth for

silver light? Wish

on stars that  motherhood had

taken you

with it?

Riley Danvers is a bisexual poet living in Portland, Oregon. She has her
A.S. in English, her B.A. in English Literature and Writing, and recently
graduated with her M.F.A. in Creative Writing. Her poetry has been
published in Clackamas Literary Review, Silkworm, Chasing Shadows, andothers. She’s currently working on her first book of poetry, Cartography of Grief.

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